Someone recently told me I don’t listen. In my experience, when someone says “you don’t listen,” what they’re really saying is “there’s no possible way what I’m saying is wrong.”
I’m fairly aware of my personal strengths and weaknesses, and one of my strengths is simplifying complex problems and considering all possible solutions.
In order to identify the multitude of solutions for any given problem, you have to solicit and listen to input from others.
I have found that whenever someone tells me I’m not listening, they’re usually projecting. They can’t believe I’m not in agreement with their point of view because, in their mind, there’s no way they could be wrong. To have that perspective means you are, in fact, closed to what anyone else is saying.
“You’re not listening” = “I’m right, and you’re wrong. Why can’t you see that?”
That, in my opinion, is not an effective way to encourage someone to see your point of view, and it doesn’t lend itself to the kind of introspection necessary to consider the possibility that you may, in fact, be wrong.
– My name is Jon Friesch, and I consider every scenario and opinion I can.