A man in Idaho was charged for assault with a Burrito because he threw his burrito at a woman in his assisted living center.

Fortunately for the woman, this happened in Idaho and not California.

As I once wrote in my definitive post about what makes a decent burrito, key element #5 of a great burrito is that it has to be wrapped so tight “…you can use [it] in hand-to-hand combat… like a billy club.” If this man had such a burrito, this woman might have been in danger.

But typical of a burrito from inferior burrito-making states, the woman “was struck with “several pieces of the burrito.” The balance of the burrito “was on the wall,” investigators reported.”

A California burrito would not have separated into “several pieces.” It would have been like throwing a hammer at her.

While this woman’s life may have been saved because the burrito was poorly made, I don’t think this is a legitimate excuse for all the mediocre burrito making going on across the country.